Robert Pattinson and Erika Dutra Had Sex

Robert Pattinson is living it up in Cannes and he and a woman named Erika Dutra were busy "canoodling" at one of the parties. Of course, this has all of his teen fans in an uproar. 

Erika Dutra is just your everyday pedestrian Los Angeles resident and is not famous to any extent, but she is now that Robert Pattinson was snapped with his arm around her. 

You know that Erika Dutra will be getting death threats from tween fans around the world. And yes, Robert Pattinson and Erika Dutra left the party together. They probably went to have coffee and nothing more. Just kidding, they had hot, nasty sex for sure. 

Robert Pattinson Injured on New Moon Set

Robert Pattinson was injured during a scene on the New Moon set. Did he break an arm? No. Did he cut up that darling face? Absolutely not.

No. Robert Pattinson pulled ligaments in his gluteus maximus. In plain English - he hurt his butt. Po, po baby. Now he needs to undergo intense butt massage to remedy the situation. I can just see the women ligned up right now, volunteering their time to his butt cause.

Personally, I think that Robert Pattinson is making the whole thing up because he has a butt fetish. One can only hope.

Robert Pattinson in Dossier Magazine

Robert Pattinson really knows how to photograph well, and he proves it again and again in magazine. This time Robert Pattinson lent his increasingly attractive mug to Dossier magazine, and goodness he looks hot.

I'm certain that any magazine that sports Robert Pattinson on the cover sells out in minutes. Robert Pattinson knows how to sell himself and really works it.

So what do you think of these Robert Pattinson pictures? I think they're smoking hot.

Robert Pattinson Reads Gossip About Himself

Robert Pattinson came to his own defense after reports (yes, we're guilty) surfaced that the Twilight star didn't shower and walked around with a funk. Robert Pattinson told reporters that, "I also do shower," after being told that the same rumors went around about Zac Efron.

Robert Pattinson also said that his ideal male costar would be Benicio del Toro and was told about Ryan Reynolds' man crush on him. Robert Pattinson was incredibly flattered.

As well as all that, Robert Pattinson also admitted that he looks himself up on the internet and only reads up on the negative stuff written about him. "I only look at the negative stuff. I just want to know whoever’s saying negative stuff, and I just want to remember their names. I write it all down in my little black book." LadyThrills.com takes everything back, Robert. Everything.

Robert Pattinson Never Showers - Tasty!

You can actually tell just by looking at him, but costars on the set of Robert Pattinson's upcoming movie New Moon have confirmed it: Robert Pattinson does not shower and stinks to high hell.

It's true, one person on the set revealed: "[Robert Pattinson] stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy. He completely reeks." I know... that's turning you on. You disgust me.

Robert Pattinson himself has admitted that he is repelled by showers: "I have so much residue crap in my hair from years and years and years of not washing it and not having any sense of personal hygiene whatsoever."

So for all you ladies (and men) out there who think that Robert Pattinson is the new sex, the boy surely has some terrible stench coming from the inside of his jeans. Enjoy.